Wednesday, April 15, 2015

The Mirror Lies

I wish that I could be like the cool kids, 'cause all the cool kids, they seem to fit in
-Echosmith, Cool Kids 

I remember turning 12, looking in the mirror and wondering if I was fat. 
I hate my body. 
I remember turning 13, looking in the mirror and hating myself.
Why am I even here? 
I remember turning 14, looking in the mirror and trying to believe that I had value.
I wish I was thiner/prettier/more confident
I remember turning 15, looking in the mirror and wondering how I had friends.
I don't even like me. 
I remember turning 16, looking in the mirror and realising God loves me anyway.

I look at my sister, and realise she struggles with the same things. I look at my friends and realise they do too. 





But:
Hang on to those who care more about you than your looks.












Self imagine is a powerful thing. Don't destroy someone else because it makes you feel better. I learnt the hard way that the mirror lies. The more beautiful you are on the inside, the more beautiful you are on the outside. Be happy and others will see you as beautiful. The happiest people I know are beautiful.

Don't be scared to take a selfie, don't call yourself fat or ugly. Don't listen to someone who does. Take every opportunity to remind those around you, teenagers especially, how much you admire or appreciate them. A negative self image slowly destroys a person.

I think the worse thing is that you can have a distorted view of your own body. Maybe what I see isn't what's really there. And that's hard because what you look like and wear in todays world is a billboard to other people about you.

The effects of a damaged self image last for longer than anyone realises. Why did I take a second helping? But in a dog eats dog world, no one wants to admit that comments hurt. Even if we did, don't we wonder who is listening, who we can trust?

I love science and I think it's weird that we are humans made of cells made of atoms made of subatomic particles calling other humans made of cells made of atoms made of subatomic particles ugly because their DNA coding is slightly different. The more I sit in Biology, the more stupid it seems to me.

I remember suddenly gaining weight when I was diagnosed with Type One Diabetes and not knowing how to handle the change. It made me uncomfortable. I was already terribly shy. I remember being snubbed by a group of girls in homeschooling, and wondering if the way I looked had anything to do with it.

The way you treat other people always, always, always has an effect on them. It doesn't matter if they hurt you, or if you don't like them. It is never okay to ignore someone, make fun of them or call them names because of the way they look.

Next time you want to change the way you look to fit in, remember we all made they way God wants us. It's your job to look after your body, not hate it.

Your pep talk now comes to an end, wonderful Homo sapiens. 

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Opal has started 13 other posts, but this is the only one she has managed to finish. She hopes you like her little talk. 
Opal wonders if a very sad thing about all this is that she would never have put those pictures of her and Hunter up without a filter. 

22 comments:

  1. I think one of the biggest things about growing up is that either you end up seeing that your body isn't everything, or eventually your body does become everything. I don't think it's bad to want to make yourself feel beautiful or try to be healthy, but I also think sometimes the ideas we have about our bodies are so silly when we are just flimsy people who are going to be dead remarkably soon. Still, you're completely right: it's our job to take care of ourselves, not hate ourselves, and that's the most important thing to remember. Thanks for the pep talk! :)

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    1. I agree, but it can be really hard not to think your body is everything. I completely agree that it's good to want to dress nicely and go to the gym or whatever, but it shouldn't consume us, or get to the point where we become obsessed.
      Thank you :)

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  2. Thank you for such an open and honest post that so many of us can relate to. It's so stupid how society builds up impossible standards of beauty, and if one doesn't fit into that catergory then she isn't considered beautiful. It favours one body type over a hundred others. We're so varied and it's really upsetting to see people have self-esteem issues because they don't 'meet the requirements'. Sorry, rant over, but just ahh. Really lovely post.

    (And also you're SO PRETTY what are you even talking about. :') )

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    1. You're welcome :) It is, one of the things that always got to me is having a thigh gap- having one is mainly based on genetics, which no one can control. Everyone is different and if we weren't, life would be boring so I wish we would just accept that everyone is beautiful in their own way.

      Haha thank you :)

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  3. TRUE. VERY TRUE. I especially loved your biology class analogy. Especially the last line -- I remember some advice I heard about commenting on someone else's appearance only if they can change it within 5 minutes, like "you have spinach in your teeth" and "your hair is falling out of its ponytail". But stuff like fashion taste and weight and so on is the other person's prerogative.

    (And I so agree with Jo; you're gorgeous!)

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    1. That is great advise! It is, and if someone is taking care of their body, then it's not anyone else's business to tell them that they are ugly/fat etc.

      Thanks :)

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  4. This is so absolutely true and beautiful. As both men and women (but I feel like women especially struggle with it), we need to realize that we were created in God's image and likeness, and God is Love. All He can do is love, and His love is unending and unconditional. We have to cling to that, to find our value in that. And it's so hard! Believe me, I know. But it is the only thing of worth...you know? Great post! =)

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    1. Thanks :) I know that boys, especially at high school, feel a lot of pressure to dress and act a certain way, but I think they are less likely to conform than girls. It is hard to remember that God loves us anyway because we often attribute human feelings to God and try to put Him in our box.
      God's love is defiantly what keeps me sane- it is hard :)

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  5. ECHOSMITHHH YASSSS I'm so sorry this is supposed to be a serious post and I'm fangirling over a lyric quote...

    But yeah, everyone has different journeys and different points in their life when they accept themselves. I haven't reached that particular point yet and it always confuses me when I meet people who are completely okay with who they are; I've just never experienced that and it's hard to understand how that feels. But I'll probably know someday :)

    O | Life as a Young Lady

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    1. All goods haha :)
      I agree. I envy those who are already who they are supposed to be and don't struggle with who they are. I haven't reached that point either, but I'm defiantly closer than I was a few years ago. I hope we all know someday :)

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  6. this post is so awesome....so awesome. This was an awesome reminder, that words really do have a huge affect on others and on us too. I've gotten over that stage somewhat I think, but it's not something that you can suddenly banish forever. That little voice tries to come back, but if you're strong then you can combat it. And if you don't have the self esteem, well, too bad. Amazing pep talk, homo sapien =)

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    1. Thank you :)
      They do, it's really important to think before you open your mouth. It does- often it attacks when we are at a low point in our life, which makes it really hard. Comments add up and eventually really hurt someone and struggling with self esteem makes the effects worse.
      Thank you amazing Homo sapien :)

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  7. This post epitomizes a similar experience I had from about age nine until maybe age fifteen. I had serious self-confidence issues based not only on how I looked, but also on how painfully shy and friendless and lonely I was. I thought maybe there was something wrong with me. Then God turned my focus from myself and my problems to Him and none of it mattered any more! It didn't matter I had no friends or wasn't skinny or was shy because I knew that God loved me and I could talk to Him and trust Him to work miracles in my life. Just that knowledge completely changed me. Not much has changed in my appearance, apart from maturing, and I still don't have a load of friends and I'm still not super outgoing or anything. But I don't think that there's something wrong with me. Because I know God loves me, I can love me. :)
    I'm so glad you wrote this post. I'm going to show it to my younger sister.

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    1. I thought there was something wrong with me as well, but it only started really eating at me when I was diagnosed with Type One Diabetes, because it made me very different from my peers.
      It's amazing how much God can change your life when you realise that he is there for you :) I'm glad you are able to accept yourself for you. I think you're awesome! :))
      Welcome, I hope she likes it as well :)

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    2. Amen! And thanks, you're pretty awesome too. :)

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  8. This is so honest. I go through this almost everyday. Such an inspiring post. I am truly touched :)

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    1. Thank you :) Sometimes its good to know you're not the only one.

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  9. Lovely post. Thanks Opal. XX

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  10. I know I've struggled with this. I know a lot of my friends have struggled with this. But sometimes it's really hard to admit that you feel less than satisfied with your image. Instead, people joke about it. "I'm so fat!" we say with a laugh. We want people to think we have it all together when on the inside we're struggling with ourselves. It's so silly when you think about it. Yes, we should want to look and feel good. But not for the approval of others. Thanks for this, Opal. :)

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    1. Yes, we tend to joke about it a lot. It is important to feel good about yourself and stay healthy, but it should be for yourself not for someone else.
      Welcome :)

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