Sunday, May 24, 2015

Gives You Hell


You're still probably working at a nine to five pace I wonder how bad that tastes.

She arrives home on a Friday afternoon and damn it has been a hard week, one more week eaten by something she doesn't even like. She goes to her bedroom, dumps her bag, flops onto her bed and studies the white white ceiling, as if it holds some sort of interest. 

Now where's your picket fence love and where's that shiny car and did it ever get you far?

Her curtains are drawn, the room is dull and shadows flourish. The clock counts off seconds, tick tock, tick tock. Her eyes don't stray, but she concentrates on the sound of the clock, almost amused. Every tick, then tock, she hears is are seconds she can't have back. They are gone, one day no one will even remember that the moment existed.

And truth be told I miss you and truth be told I'm lying.

The ceiling is a good thing to focus on, when she focuses on the white, she doesn't see everything else in her room. It makes her angry sometimes, the life her room speaks of. Bits of writing pinned in random places, photos, books. Her dresser is scattered with bracelets a hair brush and dust. See, she doesn't even know if these things speak of the person who lives amongst them.  

When you walk my way hope it gives you hell.

She thinks about her day, has to close her eyes to relive moments over and over, analysing them. She pieces her week together like this, picks out the things she will commit to memory or paper. The sound of the clock fades because when you take your mind back in time, time doesn't exist anymore.  

Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself where'd it all go wrong? But the list goes on and on.

When she sits up, her fingers tap the screen of her phone almost without thought. Her headphones go in, and now she curls on her side, eyes closed, music as loud as she can physically stand. She can pretend that the world isn't real. Her mind is over ridden by lyrics, until they run through her veins. If the clock keeps counting off seconds, then she wants to spend them like this, living and breathing music. 

Now you'll never see what you've done to me you can take back your memories.
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Opal is currently about 3/4 of the way through her 40 hour famine. She has discovered it's not being hungry that is hard (partly because hasn't really been hungry until now), but the fact that there is food around her that she can't eat. Opal has never really paid attention to the smell of food until now. 

12 comments:

  1. I know the struggle of smelling food and not being able to eat it! There's a lot of food I can't eat as a vegetarian and the smell of chicken makes me want to cry. Also popcorn has been messing with my stomach lately so I can't eat that--even when my family pops a big bowl of it right in front of me and you can smell it even outside the house. *sobbing*

    O | Life as a Young Lady

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    1. YOU CAN'T EAT CHICKEN. That's tragic!! And popcorn. Popcorn is awesome.

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  2. YOU'VE GOT THIS, OPAL! YOU CAN DO IT!

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    1. I DID IT IT WAS SO GOOD TO EAT AGAIN.

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  3. "Gives You He *double hockey sticks*" (I try to avoid any nasty language of any kind) was one of my jam out songs when I was younger. I love the correlation you did of the lyric stanzas and adding another story to tie in. I just read what the 40 Hour Famine is; as soon as all of the leftover party pizza from my house is gone, I think I'm going to do it!

    xoxo Morning

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    1. I did wonder if anybody would be upset about using the song title as my post title because I know it can be offensive, but then I figured you can't please everyone :) I'm glad you enjoyed it none the less :)

      The 40 Hour Famine is really cool thing to do :)

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  4. *flails* OMG this is such beautiful writing. PLEASE tell me it's part of your novel or something. PLEASE. I NEED MORE. Power on through the 40 Hour Famine!

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    1. Thank you!! No it's not, I wrote it on the spur of the moment :)

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  5. This is lovely writing! It reminds me of the noise of my own life, and how I want to get back to where I am. And usually, it ends up in the music. Have you made it through your famine? It sounds like quite the accomplishment—I'd love to hear more about it. :)

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    1. Thank you :) Music is such a huge part of my life.

      I did, and I was thinking about doing a post about it- or at least writing a couple of paragraphs :)

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  6. This was great! I've done a the 40 famine a few times, as well as depriving myself of various things for lent and being a vegetarian full time. I hope it went okay ! (I considered doing a talking famine once and it would be impossible) Lovely, lovely, writing

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