Sunday, January 8, 2017

This Small Town

I'm trying to work out where to take Opal Swirls in 2017, so if you could help me out by filling out a survey here, that would be great!

While I was on holiday, I got to see lot's of different places, small towns, big towns, where people lived their daily lives. We stayed in the town where my cousin grew up, and left. I've been trying to understand other people's point of view, so I wrote a poem about the town from the point of someone who dreams of something bigger.

This Small Town

I push at the seams
Of this small town
The cracked warm footpath
Ends as I begin
Even the hills here
Are not big enough
For me to see much from
I cannot see my dreams
I cannot see my future
I am left to suffocate
With my boring backyard
Of grass and dying flowers
Because even the flowers here
Are suffocating
From the kitchen window I can see
The next door neighbours yard
Full of small people
Who can breath here
I find myself envious of them
Because they don’t need to see further
It does not bother them
That my basketball hoop is
Wearily giving up it’s spot
After 10 years of no change
That the roads all melt into one
That this town is eating away at me
Taking my soul piece by piece
Until I am a shell
Of empty forgotten hopes
This town will destroy me
With it’s one main street and
It’s rows of houses
It’s battered cars
And battered people
I think the sheep here
Want to get out
As much as me.

Do you like the poem?? I'm really open to criticism/tips and so on on the piece. Even just how it reads? Which bits don't flow/are awkward?

Once again, if you could help me out by filling out a survey here about Opal Swirls, that would be wonderful, thank you!
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Opal has pictures from holiday if you guys want to see them???? Also, she's been tattooed, if you want to see it????

7 comments:

  1. "The cracked warm footpath Ends as I begin" and "Of grass and dying flowers Because even the flowers here Are suffocating" My favorite few lines. I really enjoyed this poem Opal! I don't have any criticism! Which I guess is a good and bad thing! haha. I am going to fill out the survey now!

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  2. Wow...WOW! It's such a beautiful poem, Opal! No criticism from me!

    (Although as someone who moved from a tiny town into a huge mega-city, I definitely have none of these inclinations, and never did, haha!)

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    1. Thank you! Yeah, I wouldn't either haha :)

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  3. "After 10 years of no change//That the roads all melt into one." Sheeeesh. My gosh, this is one heck of a lovely poem. :) I think I have been where your narrator has before, and it was quite..hmm, don't know how to say it...accurate? Reminiscent! I now kind of want to do a poetry collab with you...

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    1. Thank you Jo! That would be awesome!! We should do it :)

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    2. Yes!! I'll let you know once I have an idea. :')

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