Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Life, and Other Messy Things (Part 2)

I'm not sure how many posts I'm going to do about this world I live and lived in (part 1), but I can tell you one thing- to be finally getting this out in the open, where anyone can see it feels really good. You know when you leave a pot lid on, and when you open it, all this steam flies out? It's like the pot lid has been lifted off my life. Don't feel obliged to read this, in the end, this is helping me anyway :)

When I started home schooling, I had no idea what I was getting into. I didn't know that socially, it was just a glorified version of public school, where the kids were just off perfect, finding families with just two kids was hard and good luck finding anyone who you could trust not to be saying things behind your back.

The first 'big' thing that happened was that my mother signed me up for gym. At this point, I had gone from being very skinny to gaining almost 15kg (33 pounds), the result of taking insulin and I was growing properly again. I was awkward, unsure about my new weight, but gym was a great way to meet people, my mother assured me. However, the morning of the first session, I forgot to take my insulin, causing my blood sugars to become very high. My mother, still unsure about what she was doing, followed the rules of the book: no exercise.

I threw a tantrum, because if I knew anything about my age group, it was that not attending the first day- when friend groups are formed- was social suicide. And sure enough, when I attended the next week, the ring leader for my age had been found, and we didn't like each other (we still struggled to talk to each other when I left home school). I was later surprised to find that she had started home schooling at the same time as me.

It took me a long time to form my own friend group, but after two years of home schooling, those who regularly attended events who were my age were either in the same friend group as me, or with Her. My sister started home schooling half a year after me, and once she started, my confidence in myself grew a lot.

19 October, 2010 changed everything. It was still my first year of home school, I had a few friends, my sister had settled in, and we were attending our first Home and Country show. I was a known horse lover, a girl I knew found me, and garbled that a horse had fallen down in the float and there might be blood. I waited a long time before introducing myself to the girl who owned the horse, it wasn't until hours later I had to courage to do it.

The girl I sat on the fence with seemed to be the person I was so desperately trying to hide in me- shy, horse loving, hiding behind a fringe and books. By the end of the day, we were having almost normal conversation, and our parents had meet each other. The girl turned out to be Horse Frenzy, and the best friend anyone could ever ask for. Four years later, we are so freakily alike I swear that we are long lost twins.

And so my first year of home schooling taught me a life lesson: Sometimes to get the best things in life, you have to step out of your comfort zone.

For two years I continued like this, having a group of friends and becoming better and better friends with Horse Frenzy. Did you know that plodding bareback down the road in the middle of summer on horses is a great way to talk about everything?  But my forth year of home schooling decided that I had lived in relative comfort for to long, and the control like I finally felt like I had gained was torn from me again.

I like to hang out with people who make me forget to look at my phone. 


  1. Aww this made me laugh and smile so much!
    Your the best friend anyone could ask for. I still remember that day, we were both so awkward :')

  2. It's crazy how we meet our best friends, right? It's so cool that you get to know one another, and I like hearing about the homeschooling thing... and I appreciate that you're honest about it and not hoity toity. Because I'm sure that homeschooled kids are great when you get to know them, it's just that very occasionally they seem to put it off that you cannot be a good Christian or a good person or a good anything if you don't stay away from public school. I hope you continue to feel comfortable sharing these—I'm really interested.

    1. Most of the homeschoolers I know aren't stuck-up; they've just met public-schoolers before that act stuck-up because they think homeschooling is a joke. Therefore, they are a little wary around kids that go to public school, causing them (public-schoolers) to think that homeschoolers are stuck-up.

      Wow, that was really, really awkward. I should really abstain from commenting if I can't even make sense. :P

    2. No, I think I get what you're saying, and I think that could definitely be a part of it. But also because homeschooled students have an option to deviate from traditional routes of education, the difference occasionally causes friction—especially when there are deliberate attempts to make the opposite party feel dumb.

      Which happens on both sides, I know. But coming from a public school environment I tend to remember when I've been belittled.

    3. Same here; I know several public-schoolers (around my age) that have brushed me off over the years, just because we don't go to the same school.

  3. you have been awarded by moi ;P : http://autumnreadsandwritesallday.blogspot.com/2014/11/catching-up-on-few-tags.html?showComment=1416436693551#c8684856750832474933