Saturday, April 15, 2017

Less Lust, More Love

What does it mean to love?

Love is an undercurrent to everything about humans. Almost everything we do for others comes back to love. It is an emotion that has torn people apart, pulled them together, it is an emotion that poets and authors toil to understand.

Love is an idea we grow up with. Some people sign off with a casual "love you", others show it through actions, a touch on your arm, getting the car keys for you. But more and more, it is what we see on TV and in books. It is liking each other, fighting, then finding each other again. More often, we see lust rather than love, and confuse the two.

We confuse someone wanting to move in with us with the person who offers to make dinner for us, even after a hard day. We confuse the want to be together with the need for someone to support us long term. We are willing to take short term pleasure over the reward of long term work.

I don't really understand love, I'd be the first person to stand up and say that. 

I don't understand that sometimes when I look at my friends, I feel a wave of protection and a need to make they are always happy and okay. I don't understand what makes me celebrate and mourn with them.

But I can see the difference between love and lust. 

Lust is physical. It doesn't commit, it doesn't bind. It is jealous and jumpy. It is a foothold of sand, rather than rock. Lust is about itself, it is conditional. It is here today, gone tomorrow.

Everywhere I turn it feels like we're being shown relationships based on lust rather than love. We are shown that it is what drives people together, that it is an okay way to start a relationship. We shouldn't worry about the long term anymore, just about what we want today, now. We are losing sight of what love really is.

Lust is not love. 

The Bible says a lot about love, it says that no matter what you have, without love, you gain nothing (1 Corinthians 13:2). It says in 1 Corinthians 13:7 that "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things". I think that the reason love is such a big part of us is because it is a big part of God - He loves us so much that He sent his own son to the cross. We are but a faint, human reflection of this.

Let's stop confusing love and lust. Love is pure, it is putting someone before you no matter what, it is pushing through the trials together, it is celebrating in the good times. It is something that endures, it is greater than faith and hope. It is God's handprint on our hearts.

remind someone that you love them today, friends xx
Opal always feels unsure about writing these sorts of posts??


  1. This is basically why I think 'Shape of You' is a terrible song, if catchy. *insert rant*
    -it says 'Let's not talk too much' as though being physical/dancing is more important than getting to know someone.
    - 'I'm in love with the shape of you' YOU JUST MET THIS GIRL AND YOU LIKE HER BODY. THIS IS NOT LOVE.
    ''Your love was handmade for somebody like me' You just want her body not her love. It wasn't made for anybody. It's hers to give to whoever she pleases.
    - 'Although my heart is falling too I'm in love with your body' It's not your heart it's your hormones.
    -'one week in we let our story begin' so all the stuff you did before wasn't real or something. 'now my bedsheets smell like you' and you don't even let that count.

    JUST NO. I get really annoyed that people like this so much without thinking about the lyrics. *rant over*

  2. Loved to hear your thoughts on this :)

  3. So accurate. Unfortunately many people don't even want to learn *cries*

  4. Even as an atheist, I think describing love as "God's handprint on our hearts" is beautiful, because despite everything else, love is the one thing, the one force in the universe, that can't quite be explained. Lust is a survival instinct, love is a mystery.
    Very good post.

  5. A thousand times yes! This is so important to me personally, because I've never been a very physical person (I was asexual for a long time) and anyway, I'd much rather love which as you point out, is far more substantial. Love is not lust. I don't even think it's a distant cousin.

    1. I'm so glad you agree with me! I agree with you too :)